Onion-like Headlines in Real Life

Warehouse worker packing stress balls punched his boss in face

Postal Service enters fashion industry with ‘Rain Heat & Snow’ clothing line

Michelle Obama also can't pronounce Quvenzhane Wallis' name

French driver trapped for an hour in speeding 125mph car with no brakes

In (Relatively) Close Call, Asteroid Will Miss Earth

Women look their worst at 3:30 p.m. every Wednesday, survey claims

Vladimir Putin hires Boyz II Men to boost the Russian birth rate

Sperm whale secretion may spell fortune for UK man

That Cuddly Kitty Is Deadlier Than You Think